I Think I May Have Invented Hooters.

When I was a young girl, we used to have pom-poms that we put on our roller skates. They had a little bell on the top and were perfectly round and fuzzy. They came in all different colors. I was so cool with my hot pink ones on my black speed skates.

It wasn't too long after my mom first gave them to me that Anne Margaret and I discovered a new use for them. We had a crush on a certain teacher who lived two doors down from her. One afternoon, we (I say we because I am really not sure who came up with the idea, but going by track records, it was probably me) used those innocent pom poms as fuzzy prosthetic breasts. Our poor training bras were not properly trained for this job.

So there we were, two 12 year old girls, with our satin shorts, tight shirts and our pom pom boobies. And as an added bonus, those bells made for perfect nipples that looked like they were just exposed to sub zero temperatures. We were hot. OK maybe not. But we still took her dog out and walked him back and forth behind that certain teacher's house at least a half a dozen times. For some crazy reason, he wasn't the slightest bit interested.  

***Ironically we were rocking those satin shorts and big perfect boobies in 1982 and Hooters opened with that same concept in 1983. Coincidence? I think not.***

Anyway the point of all this is that as a kid I sooo wanted the perfect boobies. When I turned thirty and I still didn't have them, I bought them. Now, two kids later, 20 pounds heavier and I don't even recognize these things on my chest. I look like an Ethiopian porn star. My husband doesn't even need to go to the gym, he can use me for speed bagging. I would like to blame my kids for these boobies, but this one is on me, or should I say, these two are one me.  

Boobs really are so over rated. We give them too much attention and  too many names: breasts, boobs, hooters, knockers, jugs and tits just to name a few. Still, most women want them and most men can't seem to live without them either. I just can't believe I became one of those women!

When we are little, we want to grow up and when we are all grown up, we want to be little again. I want to be little again. No cares, no worries and no boobies.