Tween girls. Well, someone should write a book about this shit. I am sure
they have, but unfortunately I am too busy dealing with attitudes and hormones
to have time to read the darn thing. My soon to be 10 year old daughter, though
beautiful and loving, has slowly started to become what other people have
warned me about, but I never believed possible, a pre-teen or tween as they
call them now.
Tween, the term used for girls between the ages of 10-12, the
preadolescent stage. Tween: termed for that “in between” stage. Tween: too old
for toys, too young for boys. More like,
“I like some dude and have lots of attitude.” Tween, the precursor for
the dreadful teen years, when boys replace toys and friends are much more
important than mom or dad and of course, we
could never understand. Tween: what is staring me right in face
Yesterday my little girl was in pigtails, happily holding my
hand when we walked anywhere, everywhere. She still loves to hold my hand, only
now, it’s dependent on who is around. I still catch glimpses of that little
girl every now and then. I mean, she is only nine after all. She still is my
little girl. My little girl in size 7 shoes.
So exactly how do we handle these “tween” years? How do we
keep our sweet little girls, sweet,
as long as we possibly can? Lock her in a closet? Not legal. Force her to wear
dresses with pink polka dots to school every day with a Hello Kitty book bag
and matching lunch box? Too far and even I couldn’t stomach that much pink.
What to do, what to do?
Well, here’s my plan. I will give her as much love as I can
so that she knows that no matter what happens, she can always count on me to be
there. I will give her as much guidance as I can so that she knows right from
wrong and can make informed choices, but also know that even when she makes the
wrong one, I am still there to help pick up the pieces. I will give her the
discipline she needs because I am, in fact, her mother first and without
discipline, she will never understand consequences for her actions. I will give her as much freedom to explore as
you can possibly, safely, give a tween girl these days so that she can find out
who she is and what her boundaries are going to be in this life. I will teach
her to have a vision, her own vision, so that she has something to strive for
in her life. Finally, I will remind her that no matter what she does in this
life, do it with a purpose and with passion so that she will always feels full.
My little “soon-to-be” tween, oh how I love her and want to
tape her mouth shut at the same time. But, like all other phases that we have
survived, we will survive this one, too. She will test her boundaries (and my
patience) and I will love her even when it is hard to like her. She will make
me question my parenting skills and bring me to my knees, but in the end, I will
always win because that is the best part about being the mom. Ok, so maybe not
the best
part, but it is pretty dang cool. I win.
The end.
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