My five-year old son has loved the movie Frozen since we first sat down in the theater the day the movie was released. I would venture to say, he loves it even more than my daughter. He was thrilled when it was finally released digitally, so much so we bought the streaming version on Amazon even earlier than the DVD release. Needless to say, my house is a constant echo of “Let It Go” and “Do you Wanna Build a Snowman”, in the hallways, the shower, even with friends in the backyard. Yet, it is not always my daughter’s voice I hear, mangling the words, it is just as often Ethan’s.
So just the other night in Target, we were standing in an aisle, Ethan was singing the song as he usually does and a man and woman standing next to us kind of chuckled. The woman noted how cute it was, to which the man said, “Yea, because he is only four. It wouldn’t be so cute if he was twelve and still singing it” and he laughed. I, however, did not. (He is five, by the way, jerk-off.)
I honestly think he thought he was funny and I would agree with him or at least find his comment humorous. So I asked him why it would be any different if he was twelve and he actually said, (picture this comment in a dumb uneducated man’s voice) “because it’s a girl’s song.” Wait, what? Well for those of you that know me, you know that the fact that I “let it go” was a small miracle. But I realized that his ignorance was beyond what I was willing to engage in, in that very moment, with my little man having to bear witness. I smiled politely and said “well I’m certainly glad he doesn’t have you for a dad” and we walked away. Ok, so I couldn’t completely “let it go”.
Did he really think that because a child likes to sing a particular song, he would turn out to be gay? And did he really think that me, as his mother, would even care if he did? Did he think I would be embarrassed that my son was singing that song whether he was 5 or 12? It is amazing to me that this type of ignorance still exists and that it is aimed at children and coming from grown men and women.
It made me think about how people make assumptions about young boys that like certain clothes or movies or anything that may typically be associated with girls and vice versa. I find that a little ridiculous. Young children are still trying to figure out the world and where they fit in it and quite frankly don’t really understand that much about gender and what’s made for girls or boys, except for what the parents or other grown-ups (whether in commercials, etc.) tell them about what is for a girl or boy to play with. We teach them the differences when we say, “Don’t play with those dolls. They are for girls” or “Little girls don’t play football.” We teach them that there is a difference.
My son likes to skateboard, play baseball, box and loves the girls and flirts on a regular basis with mostly much older girls! He also likes to sing “Let it Go” and wants me to buy him the castle that Princess Elsa made. He plays dolls with his sister then body slams the neighbor boy in the trampoline. My point is, there is no difference to him and society is really the only one with a problem with little boys not always acting like what they believe a boy should act like. Here’s the thing. I don’t care if my son likes the movie Frozen and sings all of the songs at the top of his lungs. I only care that he is smiling while he is doing it.
The love I have for my children has no conditions. I let them express themselves however they feel most comfortable. When they are older, I will continue to let them express themselves and as long as they are not a danger to themselves or others with any of the choices they make, then I will never stand in their way. I will love my children because they are my children. I will guide them to make good decisions, but that guidance will never include telling them whom they can or cannot love. Regardless, I highly doubt that a young boy singing a song from a cartoon means much of anything and I feel sorry for that man and others like him who, believe that it does. Even more so, I feel sorry for their children.
**side note: That song is actually pretty dangerous. He was singing it on the couch the other night and fell off, fracturing his collarbone. True story.
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