1. I will wake up every morning at 5:00am to workout so that I will feel better the rest of the day.
2. I will eat only healthy foods and avoid fried foods and sugar.
3. I will only drink alcohol on special occasions and never over indulge.
4. I will be a better mother and try not to say “no” to my kids as often.
5. I will be a better wife and do all of the things that make my husband happy.
6. I will clean my house without complaining.
7. I will put on makeup every day.
8. I will cook a fabulous dinner every night.
9. I will have sex with my husband without complaining.
10. I will go to work every day without complaining.
Now, what is actually going to happen:
1. I will likely wake up at 5:00am on a few occasions, but only if Ethan has pooped his diaper. I will have a gym membership, but like everyone else, I will believe that just having the card counts for something.
2. I will make sure to put lettuce on my hamburger and make sure that the fried foods I eat do not also contain sugar. One at a time is my motto.
3. Thank God for Hallmark, because now just about every day is a special occasion of some sort….cheers!
4. I figure if I drink enough, I won’t care what the kids are doing, so I will be less likely to say no. Problem solved.
5. I am not hooking up with a chick you freak. This one is out.
6. I will hire a maid.
7. Lipstick is makeup. Either that or I will start hanging around uglier people, therefore I will look better by default.
8. I will cook a fabulous dinner one night and reheat for the next four nights.
9. This one I can do. No complaints.
10. Seriously, does anyone do this?? Maybe if I was a Urologist and could perform vasectomies all day. Now that’s a good job. Could be worse I suppose. I could be the guy who has to inseminate large farm animals for a living.
Posts
