potty-training [uncountable]:
 the process of teaching a very young child to use a potty or toilet

So, we are potty training for the second time in our house. The first time was a breeze. My daughter is an overachiever and even the potty was no challenge for her. Right before her second birthday, she made her first poopy on the potty and we were done. It was that simple.

I think I knew it would never be as easy the second time. Not just because we got lucky the first time or not even because he is a boy and we have heard that boys are harder to train, but because he is Ethan. Marching to the beat of his own drum and making up the rules as he goes along. So, I guess I just knew that the poopy, caca, dookey training would come in its own time.


It’s a far cry from our Poocaso days. He is becoming a big boy. He is telling me when and what he has or wants to do, which includes the potty. I have set my expectations a little low though I have to admit, since he is a boy and most men leave skid marks for the rest of their lives. I believe it is in their genes (and in this case, in their jeans). Maybe not so much in the beginning of a relationship, but once the ring is on, all bets are off. No shame.


The bottom line (ha! that’s funny) is that he is well on his way and I am so proud! He get’s so excited when he does it and we all clap for him. Of course my ridiculous brain started wondering, when do we stop doing that? You know, clapping when someone poops? Can you imagine if every time you went to the bathroom someone had to come in and clap for you and say “good job!” Job title: Crapper Clapper?


Soon we will be out of diapers and I will be able to ignore that aisle at the grocery store. I won’t have to cringe every time the cashier rings up that $30.00 box of crap holders. Oh the little things………..

“M” is for…..

melt·down noun \ˈmelt-ˌdau̇n\

Definition of MELTDOWN
1: the accidental melting of the core of a nuclear reactor
2: a rapid or disastrous decline or collapse

3: a breakdown of self-control (as from fatigue or overstimulation)



Did anyone ever notice that mom, minivan, meltdown and medication all start with the same letter? I do not believe this is just a mere coincidence, more like a series of events. Conspiracy even…maybe. My children follow the series of events to the letter. Mom picks up kids. Kids get in minivan. Kids have meltdown. Mom considers medication.


Does this happen to the moms that own, let’s say, a BMW or a Suburban? Or is it just minivans or other vehicles that start with the letter “m”. That would suck for Mercedes. Wow, this just led me to another “did you ever notice”. Did you ever notice that the high-end vehicles don’t have names, rather numbers, classes or series? Honda has the Odyssey, Accord, Pilot, etc. Toyota has the Sienna, Camry, 4Runner, etc. Then we get to the Mercedes which is by class, BMW by series and so on. Anyway, who gives a shit? I am still pissed about the whole “minivan” conspiracy. Is it possible that minivans were invented by the pharmaceutical companies? Just a thought.


So, as I picked up my daughter today, she proceeded to tell me about her day and 25 minutes later as I was arriving to pick up my son, she was still talking and I am quite sure she was on the same breath. I never heard her breathe, not once. Next we pick up my son. He gets in the car and before the seatbelt is even secure, the whining begins and it ended sometime around bed time. Meltdowns suck.


So “m” has now become my least favorite letter in the alphabet. Think about all the other crappy words that start with the letter “m”; mudslide, monsoon, methadone, meningitis, mushrooms (only because I don’t like them), menopause, monsters, magicians, Massachusetts (just kidding). Although, in the end, Mom is truly one of the most beautiful words in the English language so I guess I have to pick another letter to hate. I think “P” is a good one. Example; politicians and poop...enough said.

"B" is NOT for Bully



This is probably the only “serious” blog entry I will ever write.

My daughter is having her first experience with a bully and unfortunately she is only in Kindergarten. I thought I at least had a few years before we would even be discussing this concept, but noooooo…..a six year old is having to hear about when to walk away and when to defend herself.


When I first starting hearing the term “bully”, I thought back to when I was a kid and I remembered a certain girl (or evil bitch as I like to think of her) who was by all definitions, a full-fledged bully in the second grade. Everyone was afraid of her. She was mean, picked on everyone and never followed the rules. One day we were in class waiting in line to go to the auditorium and she began to pinch me on the arm. After the second time, I said to her “if you do that one more time, I am going to punch you”. Well she did, and then I did….right in the face. We were both taken to the office however, I did not get into trouble when I explained what happened. The best part that came out of this is that she never bothered me again. I stood up for myself and she did not expect that from a skinny little white girl. But that is not at all how things happen today.


I hear stories on the news and read about them more often than I would like to, about kids who attempt or succeed in committing suicide all because they were being bullied. What are we as parents doing to STOP this? Do we teach our kids to be kind to others? Do we remind our kids that everyone is different and that it does not make any one person better than another? Do we know what our kids are acting like when they are at school or who they are hanging around? I know for us, we teach our daughter to always be kind, which in this case is only making it worse.


I have a lot of thoughts on what is causing this trend, most of it boiling down to access to more forums to spread rumors and hatred. What a waste when it could be used for so much more. It seems technology has a serious downside and often our children are paying the price.


The other huge culprit is the economy and parents now being forced to work harder, which leaves less time spent with our children. Our kids are suffering far more from this down turn then most of us realize. So maybe they are acting out for attention. Maybe they are figuring that some attention is better than no attention.


The other part of the economy besides the lack of time is that a lot of families cannot afford to buy the best clothes and toys anymore. We know how cruel kids can be when one child does not have the things that many other kids have. They are teased and made fun of for something that is out of their control.


The bottom line is that we as parents need to take responsibility for our children. Spend time with them when we can, listen when they speak and step in when our children are in trouble. We cannot always rely on the school system or others to see what may be happening. It is not the school’s fault, however. One teacher has 15 or more students to watch and could not possibly see everything that happens. Now, I know that kids can make mountains out of mole hills and tend to exaggerate about most everything, but we owe it to our children to believe them and check it out when they say there is a problem.


WAKE UP PEOPLE…..you chose to become a parent, now start acting like one! (for those of you who didn’t choose to become a parent, you chose to have sex, so you chose parenthood by default)