Relaxing Vacation=Oxymoron

va•ca•tion (v -k sh n, v -)

n.

1. A period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation, especially one with pay granted to an employee.

2. a. A holiday.

b. A fixed period of holidays, especially one during which a school, court, or business suspends activities.
3. Archaic The act or an instance of vacating.

intr.v. va•ca•tioned, va•ca•tion•ing, va•ca•tions

To take or spend a vacation.

The dictionary definition of vacation is “a period of time devoted to pleasure, rest or relaxation”. I wish someone had explained that to my children. It appears that vacations lead to more opportunities for my kids to whine, beg, cry, plead, scream, fart, sneeze, burp, act-up, act-out, climb up, fall down and basically just get on the very last nerve that I have. I think they bought a first class ticket to get on that nerve.

But just as the previous paragraph is put on paper, my mind wanders back to the laughter and smiles that took place in between. Those are the moments that make it all worth while. Watching my son, laugh hysterically as the wave of water from one of the rides crashed over him or my daughter get so excited about riding a ride that makes most adults throw-up. She loved describing every animal and their behavior and was so quick to point out that she had far less fear than most of the grown men in the park (she was right).

You know, if you think about it, we should be jealous of children. They are acting exactly how we feel. Be honest, if you could get away with lying down on the ground and screaming at the top of your lungs when someone annoyed you, wouldn’t you? Or, when you saw something you really wanted (a new Coach bag), that you knew you must have and someone (ok, the bank) said no, wouldn’t it be nice if you could stomp your feet and cry uncontrollably until you got your way? I am starting to think they know something we don’t about the art of negotiation. Big corporations would be wise to learn from children and their ability to negotiate.

Personally, I think the definition of vacation needs to be revised for anyone with children. It should go something like this:
1. A period of time devoted to meltdowns, screaming fits, with some occasional activities in between and then more crying and pouting and then some smiles and laughter all while spending more money than your bank account can support
2. A paid day off work
3. Coming home with memories that last a lifetime and wonderful stories for your kids to tell about their summer