Lie Spelled [lahy] noun, verb, lied, ly·ing.
noun
1. a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.
2. something intended or serving to convey a false impression; imposture: His flashy car was a lie that deceived no one.
3. an inaccurate or false statement.
I went to bed the other night pondering at what age we learn to lie; when exactly our minds know to respond to a question with an answer other than the truth or to make a statement that is knowingly false? Is it something we learn from other people or are we just inherently programmed to spew falsehoods or half-truths at any given moment?
I ask these questions only because my seven year old has, as of late, turned this into an utter art form. I can look right at her as she is doing something and when I ask her if she did it, she can look me right in the eye and say “I didn’t do that”. She is so good, I almost believe her for a split second. It’s like the Jedi mind trick. She tilts her head a little when she says it almost as if she is trying to hypnotize me “No, I didn’t, DID I?”
I assume it is not before the age of four, at least in my house since my four year old has a speech delay. I guess I cannot base it on him since it is entirely possible that he would also be a lying little bastard if I could understand everything he said. He may be lying to me right now and I am just so happy that he is speaking and improving his language that I don’t really care.
So I started doing a little research (well, a lot of research) and I learned that it is lying is directly related to intelligence. Lying is considered to be a more advanced skill and more intelligent children can begin lying at age two to three. Lying requires cognitive and social skills that plain old honesty does not. Studies show that children begin lying to get out of trouble at around age four and can continue to master the craft if the parent does not intervene. It will not go away on its own.
Now it was all beginning to make sense. My daughter is incredibly bright, I mean truly intelligent and boy can she lie! But she is not the only one. She comes home almost daily with a story from one of the little girls in her school, who by all accounts, must be a genius if the studies are correct. She has told my daughter the most off the wall stories; she has a four story house with an elevator, she has more than twenty animals and that she is rich, to which my daughter quickly points out that she wears the same shoes every day. I then have to explain that we cannot judge anyone by what they wear…yada yada yada. So now the lies cost me an hour of conversation about being respectful, not making assumptions and not always believing everything you hear.
On the other side of the coin, my son has a little delay right now and I truly believe that he would not lie. I can ask him if he did something and he will say “yes, I did it”. So, what do I do; hope that he will become super smart and a big fat liar? Or hope that he remains a little behind the rest of the group, but always tells me the truth? Tough call. I guess I would say, I would like both of my children to have wisdom and knowledge and to control the lying I will just have to tell them that if they keep lying all of their hair will fall out. I really wonder who they learn all of these bad behaviors from?
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