Summer is here and you know what that means? Well, I'll tell you what it means, a whole lot of "Mooommm, I'm bored"s and "Mooommm, I'm hungry"s and I can't for the life of me figure out how the fuck they make it through the whole school year without dying of boredom or starving to death. Because I know for a fact they only get to eat once the whole day and I am pretty sure playing outside  with your neighborhood friends is a whole hell of lot more exciting than sitting behind a little desk for hours at a time and pop quizzes. But somehow or another, they are still bored and hungry.

So now it begins, finding things to keep the little monsters amused. Anything to keep them off the iPads and video games. Summer camps, vacations, movies, the beach, museums, water parks. It's like a god damned olympic sport piecing together a summer schedule for two kids. But, I am for sure going to medal this year. I have a perfect plan mapped out...

Little White Lies

May 1^st was National Honesty Day, the day where a person may ask another person any question they like and that person has to provide a truthful and straightforward answer. Now, I am not sure about you, but this sounds dangerous to me.  Picture it now … “Do these pants make my ass look fat?” You politely, automatically say no, but it’s National Honesty Day and you’re thinking, “The pants have nothing to do with it. Your ass was working alone on this one.” Now, if you say that, being honest, it is likely that you are going to lose a friend or fat ass is going to punch you … hard.

I think little white lies were invented for a really good reason … to save people’s feelings and prevent total chaos in the world. If everyone were completely honest, all of the time, I think friendships would end, relationships would suffer, businesses would fold and the world would probably implode.