potty-training [uncountable]:
 the process of teaching a very young child to use a potty or toilet

So, we are potty training for the second time in our house. The first time was a breeze. My daughter is an overachiever and even the potty was no challenge for her. Right before her second birthday, she made her first poopy on the potty and we were done. It was that simple.

I think I knew it would never be as easy the second time. Not just because we got lucky the first time or not even because he is a boy and we have heard that boys are harder to train, but because he is Ethan. Marching to the beat of his own drum and making up the rules as he goes along. So, I guess I just knew that the poopy, caca, dookey training would come in its own time.


It’s a far cry from our Poocaso days. He is becoming a big boy. He is telling me when and what he has or wants to do, which includes the potty. I have set my expectations a little low though I have to admit, since he is a boy and most men leave skid marks for the rest of their lives. I believe it is in their genes (and in this case, in their jeans). Maybe not so much in the beginning of a relationship, but once the ring is on, all bets are off. No shame.


The bottom line (ha! that’s funny) is that he is well on his way and I am so proud! He get’s so excited when he does it and we all clap for him. Of course my ridiculous brain started wondering, when do we stop doing that? You know, clapping when someone poops? Can you imagine if every time you went to the bathroom someone had to come in and clap for you and say “good job!” Job title: Crapper Clapper?


Soon we will be out of diapers and I will be able to ignore that aisle at the grocery store. I won’t have to cringe every time the cashier rings up that $30.00 box of crap holders. Oh the little things………..

“M” is for…..

melt·down noun \ˈmelt-ˌdau̇n\

Definition of MELTDOWN
1: the accidental melting of the core of a nuclear reactor
2: a rapid or disastrous decline or collapse

3: a breakdown of self-control (as from fatigue or overstimulation)



Did anyone ever notice that mom, minivan, meltdown and medication all start with the same letter? I do not believe this is just a mere coincidence, more like a series of events. Conspiracy even…maybe. My children follow the series of events to the letter. Mom picks up kids. Kids get in minivan. Kids have meltdown. Mom considers medication.


Does this happen to the moms that own, let’s say, a BMW or a Suburban? Or is it just minivans or other vehicles that start with the letter “m”. That would suck for Mercedes. Wow, this just led me to another “did you ever notice”. Did you ever notice that the high-end vehicles don’t have names, rather numbers, classes or series? Honda has the Odyssey, Accord, Pilot, etc. Toyota has the Sienna, Camry, 4Runner, etc. Then we get to the Mercedes which is by class, BMW by series and so on. Anyway, who gives a shit? I am still pissed about the whole “minivan” conspiracy. Is it possible that minivans were invented by the pharmaceutical companies? Just a thought.


So, as I picked up my daughter today, she proceeded to tell me about her day and 25 minutes later as I was arriving to pick up my son, she was still talking and I am quite sure she was on the same breath. I never heard her breathe, not once. Next we pick up my son. He gets in the car and before the seatbelt is even secure, the whining begins and it ended sometime around bed time. Meltdowns suck.


So “m” has now become my least favorite letter in the alphabet. Think about all the other crappy words that start with the letter “m”; mudslide, monsoon, methadone, meningitis, mushrooms (only because I don’t like them), menopause, monsters, magicians, Massachusetts (just kidding). Although, in the end, Mom is truly one of the most beautiful words in the English language so I guess I have to pick another letter to hate. I think “P” is a good one. Example; politicians and poop...enough said.