Three B's

My daughter is beautiful, there is no denying that, both inside and out. She has just enough confidence with her appearance to be happy, yet not arrogant. She is incredibly caring and we have taught her the importance of being strong, kind and intelligent before anything else, stressing that it will get her much further in life. Sometimes hard to convince your child though, with the "role models" kids are exposed to these days. They are basically taught that being beautiful and ignorant can get you pretty much anywhere.

In addition to beautiful, she is also brilliant and I don't use that term lightly. She excels in school and has picked up every musical instrument and sport she has been exposed to. Which honestly is a little shocking to me because she will trip over something, often her own two feet, just walking across the room, but can waterski, play tennis, soccer, sail, dance, all which require some coordination. She is also inquisitive and has an active imagination, which I truly feel plays a pivotal role in a child's level of intelligence. Brilliant.



So we have beautiful and brilliant, now what is the third "B" you might ask? Well, she is ... bossy. And guess what? I am completely ok with that. I have heard all of the hoopla about the word "bossy" and how Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook CEO and author of Lean In is leading a crusade to have this word removed from the English language. Really? I mean, I loved her book and she is an incredibly intelligent woman, however that is just silly. Their argument is that boys or men are considered assertive or leaders and girls or women are labeled bossy. First of all, the first Webster dictionary definitions have little to do with a girl or woman's personality whatsoever nor does it specifically use the words "she" or "her" when the third definition refers to "Inclined to domineer".  Other sites and resources have elaborated on the definition of the word to showcase the female aspect, but truly it is just someone's ignorance. And second of all, there are plenty of names for men who are assertive and leaders. Just ask every President or any CEO of a major company ... or my husband who considered himself the leader of the house. I gave him a much worse name than bossy.

The word "bossy" only sends a negative message if you have not taught your child the true meaning of the word and helped her understand the significance of being a leader. Removing one word from the dictionary or whatever it is they are trying to accomplish, is not going to make the difference. The difference begins at home and the difference begins with the other leaders in the child's life teaching self-confidence and self-worth. Removing a word, in my opinion, only makes it appear as if we are not strong enough to handle a little word, which does not give our daughters enough credit.

There are much worse "B" words to be concerned about to be quite frank. I can think of a few right now; bitch, bimbo, (Barack), bubbly.  "She's so bubbly" is like saying "She is so ... not smart". You get the point. We need to stop focusing on things to "crusade" about. The whole world is becoming about who can get the most "likes". You really have to applaud Facebook for that one (and how coincidental that their CEO is involved with this one). They made the Kool Aid and we are all drinking it. It's about seeing how many people will follow us in anything we do and now, with social media, the possibilities are limitless.

Being called bossy is not the end of the world, it's the beginning. I have taught my daughter that if anyone calls her bossy to say, "I am leader, not a follower." Now, let's also point out that I have also taught her about respect and feelings. There is a fine line between being a leader and being aggressive and forceful with your opinions and not respecting someone else's. But, just like in everyday life, there is always a leader; the boss, the CEO, the President, the principal, someone is always in charge. You can either be that leader or be the follower. Being called bossy can either be taken as a criticism or a compliment. We choose to take it as a compliment in our house. We choose not to let one little word define our lives. (Yes, I am bossy, too.)

So I have a beautiful, brilliant and bossy daughter and I could not be more proud. Hopefully one day when she looks back on her childhood and remembers that she did not let some little word have any significance in her life, she will be preparing to face the nation with her State of the Union address ... or sitting at a dinner table telling her daughter not to let a little word ever get in her way. Her choice.