Are You Shitting Me?

My 22 month old son is an actual poop machine. He never runs out. There is an endless supply of multi-colored, foul smelling, sometimes lumpy poo for my viewing pleasure. It dawned on me the other day that the best business to be in, or own stock in, is diapers. Babies will never stop pooping. There is no cure. No magic pill. As long as babies eat, they WILL poop. So I figured it out. Diapers average about thirty cents each and most babies average about eight diapers a day more or less. That’s $1500.00 for just the first two years times what, about a billion babies? So apparently shit is the business to be in. I guarantee the diaper execs never say “I don’t give a shit” or “stop giving me shit”. Their slogan is probably “Please give me shit”.


Ironically, not only do we come in to this world in diapers, we go out in them as well. The only difference is the size and the name. It is no longer Huggies or Pampers, it becomes Depends and Poise. (Poise yourself for the fact that you are about to shit your pants)


Tomorrow I am going to go out and buy stock in diapers.