I Make the Rules

Rule (ro̵̅o̅l)
noun
1.a.an authoritative regulation for action, conduct, method, procedure, arrangement, etc.: the rules of the school
b.an established practice that serves as a guide to usage: the rules of grammar
2.a complete set or code of regulations in a religious order: the Benedictine rule
3.a fixed principle that determines conduct; habit; custom: to make it a rule never to hurry

So last night my daughter asked the question "why not mommy" to which I quickly replied, "because I make the rules and one day when you are old enough, you can make the rules".  I've said it a thousand times before and I am quite sure my mother said it to me on more than one occassion. So I started thinking, do I really make the rules? Has any mother ever really made the rules?  I am sure most of the rules we all use are pretty much the same:

1. Don't touch that
2. Don't put that in your mouth
3. Don't hit your sister
4. Don't jump on the couch
5. Don't jump on the bed
6. Don't jump on your brother
7. Because I said so 

The list goes on and on, but you get the idea.

If I could REALLY make up the rules they certainly wouldn't be those rules. I would probably start with:
Rule# 1. My husband must serve me breakfast in bed everyday.
Rule #2. Shoes would be free.
Rule #3. No pants would ever make me look fat and even if they did, the rule is no one could say so.
Rule #4. Botox would just "kick in" at age 40.
Rule #5. My boobs would never head south.
Rule #6. No one could refer to me as ma'am.
Rule #7. I would reserve the right to change or add to the rules at any time.